merry christmas & happy new year!

I thought I'd throw a little something up here because I haven't past through here in over a month.

R.I.P
Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan
February 10, 1981 – December 28, 2009



Never again will he twirl a drumstick like the badass he is. Never again will he be laying down some sick rhythms on one of A7X's songs. Never again will he act a fool and crack me up.

And while I didn't know him as a friend I did know as a fan through his music. It upsets me to know that I didn't even get to see him alive in concert doing what he loved and kicked ass at it.

He will be very missed...

XoxoX, Jenn♥

just for the record

So there's been a lot of backstabbing and shit talking going on behind people's backs lately in my life. And I'd be lying my ass off if I said I've never done it before.

Yes, I know it's a horrible thing to and it's going to bite me in the ass (and it has before).

But in most cases of my smack talking I have no intention of starting drama with someone else. I don't even want to hurt their feelings or cease being friends with them or whatever. I'm just venting.

So you're probably saying "Oh why don't you just take the problem to them and figure it all out?"

And I honestly wish I could but most people tend to get mad when you tell them about how bad their B.O. is or how much you hate their boyfriend or that you think they're making terrible decisions.

So then I end up telling my best friend because I know she won't tell the whole world and to see if I'm crazy or it's not just me that notices these things.

I'm not really trying to justify my actions but I think this should be put out there. Kinda like a disclaimer or something...

XoxoX, Jenn♥

Disappointed?

I think my mother is disappointed in me and my lack of a social life.

Because she accuses me of doing all these fanciful things that I would never do.

Because I'm boring and never do anything to get in trouble she's probably all frustrated that she'll never get to try all these neat parenting techniques for people with bad kids.

So she tries to goad me into all these stupid confrontations and then gets all mad when I defend myself and I point out why she's wrong with evidence and examples.

You know life as an adult must suck when you have to trick your kids into arguing you with in order to get some entertainment.

XoxoX, Jenn♥

Coward

I just had a realized I'm kind of a punk.

Because I take the path of least resistance so when things turn to shit I can just claim that I wasn't really trying, instead of giving 100% and having my efforts thrown back in my face.

And then I wonder why nothing particularly exciting ever comes my way.

Nobody can ever frustrate me like I can.

XoxoX, Jenn♥

How about that new school year?

This year I feel overwhelmed with a sense of urgency & hope.

Urgency because I feel like I have to cram every little bit of fun into this year.
And hope because I think I'm finally on the path of becoming the person I want to be. :)

Knowing who you want to be & how to get there is really nice.

Anyways I just felt like writing a little statement about my current state of affairs.
Life is excellent. 8]

XoxoX, Jenn♥

What's with his homies dissing my girl?

10 points if you know what song that's from!

Anyways I feel like writing another random blog.

So this coming school year feels like it's going to be really good and it should be because it's my senior year. I don't want no stupid friend drama or stupid boy drama. I just wanna get good grades, have some fun, and create memories to tell to my children one day.

Basically, fuck all you stupid people who try to ruin other people's happiness. I simply don't have time for your bullshit this year.

And I'm going to stop holding back on my personality because I can't please everyone & a little rejection isn't going to kill me. In fact, it'll only make me a stronger person.

Another thing I want to do by the end of this year is to tie up all my loose ends before I leave PSL behind. Throughout this year I'll probably confront several people random things I have to say them. I don't want to have any what if's by the time I graduate.

So this year is gonna be all about taking some risks & making mistakes because it's better to fuck up now while I still have a safety net to catch me when I fall.

XoxoX, Jenn♥

I have a car wash in 7 hours

& I have no idea why I'm still up.

I turn into something of an insomniac during the summer.
So it's a gonna be a bitch to wake up at 7 am next Tuesday for band camp.

And I still can't believe I'm finally a senior.
I feel as if I should have another year to get my act together.
It's really weird to go from the bottom of the food chain to the top in just 4 years only to do it over again.

The idea of my childhood ending is stifling me again.

xoxox, Jenn♥

P.S. I was rereading some of my old blogs and I don't think I sound like myself.
I sound more mature & more well put together.
The transition from in person to text is really kind to me.