=^-_-^= it's a cat

Guys are fricking weird; I doubt I'll ever totally comprehend them.

I bet guys feel the same way about girls.

I'm just one of vast majority of teenagers who think they're totally unique and the only one to experience what their going through. However the truth of the matter is I'm not as misunderstood as I'd like to imagine.

95% of the stuff that happens in your life is consequence of your actions. The other 5% is stuff that drives your actions. You make your own destiny.

I'm going to be "ready" for the real world this time next year according to a pretty sheet of paper. I have no idea of what I want and whether or not I'm capable of sustaining myself.

Sometimes I don't realize I still have some last vestiges of seeing the world through rose tinted glasses so when they're shattered I'm totally discouraged.

But I also need to realize without these little bits of hope I'd become a miserable old curmudgeon. <---- EPIC WORD!!!

That's it for now.

xoxox, Jenn♥

In which Jennifer gets her shit together.

So I'm blogging again. Yay!

I've been feeling really hopeful lately and I don't know why but I like it.
It's a nice change from constant self inflicted cynicism & pessimism.

It makes me want to be nice to people and do random acts of kindness.
It's weird because nothing in my life has really changed.

I guess my outlook on life has just changed is all.
My personality hasn't really changed though, it's more like I'm just taking everything in stride now.

Like there's no need to sit here and freak out and be sad & regret stupid things because the world waits for no one. I'll never know when I'm going to die so why waste the time I do have?

Especially the time I have as a teenager. It's supposed to be one of the most memorable times of my life. I should be out doing things now because I may never have the opportunity to do it later. I need to start making the most of things NOW.

Everything happens for reason they say...
And I plan to start taking advantage of it now.

XoxoX, Jenn♥

[P.S. I have a new crush guys... XD And he's so weird but I like it. XP]

Fuck music, I've got a real boyfriend!

That's right.
I have this awesome guy named Joshua Caleb Vigorito as my boyfriend.

So this is how it went down:
Last Friday, various friends and I were chilling in the band room during lunch talking about going to the movies when Dylan, Katie's boyfriend, is like 'You should go out with Josh' and I'm totally shocked cuz I had liked him for like 3 weeks and hadn't told a soul.

So Monday, I decide to tell Katie and she's all pissed cuz I did waited 3 weeks to tell her. Lol. She tells Dylan and apparently Dylan has a big mouth cuz next thing I know I'm going to ask him out.

*Cue nervousness and freaking out*

So I come to school on Tuesday dressed up all nice & panicking and everyone is like 'Did you ask him yet?' and I'm like '...Nooooo'. I honestly didn't feel like asking anyone anything at the moment and I pretty much wanted to go home and die from embarrasment & nervousness.

[It was kinda funny cuz when I was walking to band class he was coming from *insert4thperiodclasshere* and I was like 'Oh shit!!!' and made a beeline for the band room. I literally did a 90 degree angle turn from the path I had been walking. Lol.]

Then lunch rolls around and there's egg rolls; the school's egg rolls are epic. So I'm sitting and the lunch table in the cafeteria with Beth, Chelsea and other assorted people, enjoying my egg roll when Katie, Dylan, Aubry [Josh's older sister], and Kendal swarm out of nowhere.

It was really scary, there were like sharks circling a bleeding seal.
Sharks eat seals, right? Or is it otters?

Katie drags me out of the booth spilling my food everywhere and tries to tow me all the way back to the band room. I manage to escape and go to use the bathroom. She drags me out like the very second I'm done peeing.

So I walk into the band room and peek around the corner. No Josh. I breath a sigh of relief because I really don't want to ask him.

[I mean who the hell enjoys asking people out? Because for like 2 or 3 unholy seconds it's like you're teetering on the edge of a cliff and the only person who knows for sure what's going to happen to you is the person you're asking. Nobody likes to put themselves out there like that; vulnerable for attack.]

But I digress, it turned out that Josh was getting fitted for his concert tuxedo so I had to suffer and wait in the band room for like 5 minutes.

5 minutes in which I begin to pace relentlessly.

He's done getting fitted and I'm like 'OHHHHHHH SHIIITTTT!' and Dylan comes to hold me & Josh together and I can't make a quick getaway.

But then it's like:

Dylan: Josh, do you take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded girlfriend?
Josh: Yes
Dylan: Jennifer, do you take Josh to be your lawfully wedded boyfriend?
Me: Yes.
Dylan: I now pronouce you boyfriend and girlfriend.
*smiles all around*

So basically all that nervousness and bullshit was for NOTHING!!!
Lmao.

The bell rings, we hold hands and he walks me all the way to class. He was late.

The next day, more smiling, hand holding, and hugging. Everyone was awwing and shit. We kissed after band practice. Kendal and Megan missed it. They were pissed. That was my first kiss EVER! =D

Yesterday was the band concert. I met his dad, he met my mom. My parents did their parental thing and were like 'Blah blah blah, boyfriend, grades, you can always ask us anything, he's supposed to ask you, he's too young, etc.'

Today we kissed again. =]

This blog was ridiculously long.

12.16.08♥

XoxoX, Jenn♥

P.S. The title of this blog relates to another blog I posted, k.

Zomg!

I like boys.
I REALLY LIKE BOYS!
Like seriously, I could never be anything but straight.

I like being friends with boys.
I like talking to them.
I like when they have nice hair.
I like when they smell nice.
I like when they have some sense of style.
I like when they give me hugs.
I like when they're nice.
I like when they're funny.
I like when they're cute.
I like when they have nice bodies.
I like these V thingers that they have [sometimes].
I like when they're modest.
I like liking boys.
YAY for men!!!!!

However, I don't like penises. Or balls. Or vast amounts of body hair.
Those are gross. >_<

Wow, I sound like quite the vapid airhead here. Lol.

XoxoX, Jenn♥

If music was my boyfriend...

Let's take this back to elementary school & just pretend for a moment.
Let's pretend music is a person; a guy around my age to be exact.
Let's say he's my boyfriend for the purpose of this blog.

So if music was my boyfriend:
-He'd always seem to know the right thing to say.
-He'd be moody from time to time.
-He'd have all the answers I'd ever need.
-He'd be the only one I'd want to hear after crappy day.
-He would understand me more than I do.
-He'd probably be a little crazy but it would suite him.
-He would be loved by everyone.
-He would have a twin brother named Lyrics.
-We'd be together nearly 24/7.

Hmm, that was oddly poetic of me.

xoxox, Jenn♥

Love

seems to elude me.

It's like trying to hold onto water. It just slips out of my grip.
[Actually it's never really been in my grip in the first place...]

And yeah I know I should "Enjoy being single" and whatnot but I don't think I could truly enjoy it until I've been in a relationship. Plus, it sucks big donkey balls when you can't talk to any of your friends because they all on the phone talking to their boyfriends.

It makes me feel like a total outcast. Oh I'm sure they meant nothing by it but it sucks. It's like the world is taunting me.

An AIM Conversation I had earlier today
Me: i feel lonely. =[ especially when they all are sitting on the phone talking to their b/fs
Me: im like in outcast city
Joe: yeah
Joe: welcome to the world of Joe.
Me: small world.
Joe: very
Joe: lonely and cold too
Me: is the sky black & does it rain 24/7?
Joe: yup

I'm currently located in Outcast City, Planet Joe where it's cold, dark, rainy and small. Yay.

I mean I just want a boyfriend but it can't just be any random guy. It's gotta be THE GUY. I have no idea who he is though but it'd be nice if he would show himself or maybe I could get a sign.

Yeah right, nothing good in this world ever comes easy.

xoxox, Jenn♥

Maximum 3 blogs per people I like

And by people I like I'm talking about in a romantic way, not a platonic way.
[Lol, I said Way]

Like HeWhoMustNotBeNamed[not Voldemort] lest I end up writing ANOTHER blog about him.
[That would make 4, not that I'm counting or anything]

God forbid, he ever read this blog he'll think I'm an obsessed stalker.
[I have no idea where he lives actually]

Oh damn I did it again!!! FUCK!
[I need to stop with all the little side commentary]

So, guys how's life?

xoxox, Jenn♥
[I'm losing my damn mind over a fricking boy...GAY!]

I likes a boyy

So I started a blog of my own. Go me!

I am currently having a series of good days. Must be the fact that school is coming to a close. I hate school but I love my friends and it's such a shame that you can't have one without the other. However I've been looking forward to riding the bus in the afternoons now that I like Tyler.

Why is that?

Because he talks in the afternoons and we walk home to together. But that's only because we live in the same direction. He's definitely unattainable at the moment plus I think he'll never like me. Yet another random crush that won't blossom into shit. Well this is an improvement on the others though.

Because Tyler is:
1. straight
2.16
3.within walking distance
4.easy to talk to
5.not a total and complete asshole

This is Tyler. And he doesn't look the least bit fruity.


xoxox, Jenn♥